Monthly Archives: October 2014

‘Queen V’ Leaves Geordie Shore On A High

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‘Queen V’ Leaves Geordie Shore On A High

She’s had me in stitches more time than I’ve had hot dinners, so I’m gutted that Vicky Pattinson has announced to MTV today that she’s ready to quit the hit show that made her famous, Geordie Shore. The queen of one liners, who has been given the role of head of the household for series 9, is simply over the constant partying lifestyle and is ready to move on.

“I’ve moved on. I’m pleased they’re still enjoying themselves, the Geordies, but it just didn’t work anymore, not for me. It was just the right time for me. The show has been going for a long time, and I’ve been fortunate to be part of it from the start, but it’s changed. Everything that everyone else is happy with doing and still enjoys, I just don’t. I’m in a completely different place. I don’t feel angry about it, or upset – I’m pleased I’ve moved on, and I’m pleased they’re all still enjoying themselves, but it just didn’t work anymore. I know a lot of the people in the house are gonna be content to be 40-years-old and still downing Jaeger bombs and bucking birds, but for me, that was never an option.”

Don’t expect her to be absent from your TV screens forever though, as she has big jungle plans, and is hoping to be selected for this winter’s series of I’m A Celeb: “I’ve got no desire to fall off the face of the earth. If anything, this has made me hungrier for something I really want. I would like to pop up in the jungle. I think I’d have no problems after my experience on Geordie Shore and all the sort of creepy crawlies I’ve encountered doing this.Putting a kangaroo ball in my mouth – that would just not bother me in the slightest. I think I’ve probably had worse in my mouth. So yeah, I’m a celebrity – get me in there!”

Rather cynically of me, MTV have made the annoucenment on the day of the beginning of series 9 of the show- coincidence much?! Ha!

Sheeran Says Sorry For Miley Stripper Comment

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Sheeran Says Sorry For Miley Stripper Comment

Many a person had something to say when Miley Cyrus introduced the world to the art of twerking last year; most adults deemed her high speed booty-shake as inappropriate not just for kids, but full stop, and little old Ed Sheeran was one of those that publicly addressed the matter.

The Sheeran has since apologised to the pixie crop singer through The Sun by saying: “I was a bit of a c**t. I do feel bad about it as if I’d be f**king livid if someone said that about me. My general point was I wanted her to sing the songs so people could see what an amazing artist she is. I just worded it wrong.” Well well, he’s done the good thing, I just wonder if Miley will now stop mouthing “asshole” at him during awards shows now?!

Renée Zellweger’s dramatic facial transformation has fans choking on their Bloody Mary’s

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Renée Zellweger’s dramatic facial transformation has fans choking on their Bloody Mary’s

Bridget Jones is the one literary character I have always felt an affinity towards; the no- BS spouting, champion feminist shocked me with her casual use of the term “emotional fuckwit” at first when reading the books as a tween, and her friendly face and potty mouth had me in stitches, time and time again.

Of course the actress that portrayed BJ (hehe, sorry), was Renée Zellweger (a decade ago), who certainly did Helen Fielding’s creation justice when the story was transferred to the silver screen, has never been the most public of figures, and her actual personality differs certainly from that of Bridget. She is the woman, after all, who managed to marry with minimal media attention by eloping to a beach in 2005; despite several other lesser- known roles, she has spent the majority of recent years in a love cocoon with partner Doyle Bramhall, and has made few public appearances.

So when she stepped out at Elle Women in Hollywood awards on Monday, the fans waiting along the red carpet had the shock of their lives when Renée turned up. The woman is barely recognisable, and has since venomously denied having plastic surgery to alter her appearance, but the transformation is honestly shocking.

In a statement to ‘People’ magazine, the 45 year old defended her looks by saying: “It seems the folks who come digging around for some nefarious truth, which doesn’t exist won’t get off my porch until I answer the door. I’m glad folks think I look different! I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows. My friends say that I look peaceful. I am healthy.”

Bloody hell, I feel like I need a Bloody Mary (or 12) after this- can she have her old, hilarious face back please?!