Category Archives: Joey Essex

TOWIE’s Joey & Sam Split


The golden couple of ‘The Only Way Is Essex’, (Sam Faiers and Joey Essex), have split. The pair decided to call it quits and break for a while, and Sam said the following about the matter:

“I was mothering Joey – I just need space from him. He’s gorgeous but we spent so much time together so quickly that the spark went out just as fast. I reckon we could get it back. He was always more concerned about me than himself, and – although it is nice to be put first – I didn’t want it to be like that. I honestly think we’ve all had so much pressure put on us – and it’s amazing for the show – but we are all under so much pressure and it’s too much for our relationships.This is our real life. It isn’t fake and it isn’t publicity. Lauren and Mark are always out to prove a point – me and Joey aren’t like that. We have always kept it private.”

Don’t worry Sam, best pal Amy Childs will be round yours with a bottle of Chardonnay and a bar of Galaxy before you know it…

Joey Single Sounds ‘REEM’


Joey Essex’s collaboration with ‘Miss Millionaire’ has landed…and it sounds like this: “I wanna look reem, smell reem, be reem” (times about 100), and is topped off with the Essex motto, “no carbs before Marbs”.

His ITV2 bosses are unhappy with the release though, and have prohibited him from participating in any promotional work for the single.

“TOWIE bosses are wanting to bring out a Christmas single featuring all the cast and didn’t want Joey releasing anything first. He’s gutted.”

What do you think of it?

Joey Essex’s Villa Robbed


It seems that my favourite ‘TOWIE’ cast member, ‘Joey Essex’, isn’t having a very reem time in Marbs so far.

In the early hours of the morning, £10,000 worth of belongings were stolen from his villa. These items included literally everything apart from the clothes he was wearing, (his beloved UGG boots – designer clothes, laptop and cash).

As a result, ‘TOWIE’ ITV2 bosses back in England were forced to fly out to Marbs and provide him with replacements. The robbery happened shortly before Joey arrived home after a night out clubbing in the Spanish city.

‘The Only Way Is Essex’ Cast Wreak Havoc On Daybreak


The stars of the hilarious ITV2 series that is ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ popped along to the Daybreak studios this morning, to talk about the astonishing success of the series, and their competition for a BAFTA award against serious dramas like ‘Downton Abbey’.

Cocktails just after 8am?! Of course!

Amy, Lauren and Joey ‘Essex’ were invited to read the news and do the weather report.

Amy made a fantastic news reader, and started up with real enthusiasm, but this waned when she couldn’t pronounce names like “Deyan Valentinov Deyanov”. The queen of vajazzles then stopped, and asked a nearby member of the crew, “What does that say?”

Joey proved however that he was in desperate need of a Geography lesson or two. He made the slight mistake of pointing at Wales when he was looking for London on the map, and then proceeded to point to Scotland when the crew corrected him.

He even managed to drop his signature catchphrase, ‘Reem’, into conversation, when declaring his opinion of the weather in Manchester: “That’s not reem”.

'Where's London?'

Lauren Goodger dished the dirt on her argument at the end of the second series with ‘playboy’ fiancé Mark Wright. She pushed him into a pool after he prevented her from coming to a party that he was hosting in one clearly staged scene, but Lauren confirmed that all is well between the pair now: “Two minutes later we went home and had tea and biscuits. But he deserved it, it felt good.”

Presenter Christine Bleakley was impressed by Joey’s bouffant style blow-dried hair, whilst sports presenter Dan Lobb was treated to a ‘manjazzle’ on his chest by Amy.

The show returns in the autumn for a third series; I can’t wait that long, I have withdrawal symptoms already!

Joey’s Orange Uggs Have Another Outing!


Real life Barbie & Ken

Having stolen the most popular male crown from Mark Wright, Joey Essex, one of the latest additions to ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ cast, has never been so popular.

He has gained a reputation as a bit of a fashionista, and has declared his love for his shoe of choice, the ‘Ugg’. Oh, and did I mention that they’re literally bright orange? Despite his girlfriend Sam Faiers having previously banned him from wearing his favourite footwear, his trusty orange Uggs, he stepped out in Brentwood showing them off. He continued his ‘Ken’ like look by wearing a tight white Hollister T-shirt, a Malibu-sunset tan.

Joey explained his reasoning for this outfit on his Twitter: “Sam let me wear my orange ugg boots because I forgot my trainers peeps!!! So comfterble mannnnn… Who wants orange ugg’s?” Not me!

A sleepy Joey after an apperance in Scotland

After a pit-stop at Minnie’s to see Sam, he flew straight to Scotland for a personal appearance last night. A tired-looking Joey posted the following picture today, along with the caption: “Just landed and my back is killing me. Slept the hole way home on the plane…”

I’m seeing an Ugg/ Joey Essex collaboration coming soon… the ‘Reemugg’?!